...be sure your sin finds you out

The foster care system in the United States is a large program that is unknown to most of the world. It is a system that citizens do not want to get involved with or help change for the better. The original definition of foster care is to temporarily place a child in a home with the eventual hope to reunite them with parents. That almost never happens. These kids almost always enter the foster care system and remain in the system until they age out. The main goal of foster agencies is to help hundreds of thousands of children find homes which can get very overwhelming. Thousands of kids are placed in foster care every month for a variety of reasons. Whether their parents died, social services took the children away due to domestic issues, or simply because the parents can not take care of them, and sign away their rights. With more kids entering, things get complicated. Some foster homes get flooded with children, who are taken in by adults who are only involved for the money. Those same adults find loopholes in the system and then become “Foster Parents”. Then there are those parents who would have no problem qualifying, but refuse to get involved. These adults are afraid to take in such kids because of the reputation that we have. Similar to the reputation that pitbulls are naturally vicious, which is highly untrue. Pitbulls are one of the best breeds to raise a child with and trust to protect your family, but that is not the label that they are known for. The dog behavior according to how they are raised, like pitbulls, children are raised according to their family values. They need the proper guidelines. Kids become heavy products of the environment that they are raised in. inconsistent homes often becomes inconsistent behavior in some children. Which then leads to the common assumption of the public. That raising a foster child is a life changing experience and can cause your life to take a negative turn. They may be afraid that they will set fires to their home or hurt some occupants. Some of these cases are true, but the majority of thoughts are false. These ideas and images often derive from those that are not directly involved with foster care or children in foster care. As a former foster child, I can speak for my kind. This is the crowd that judges us and gives us the label that we are “problem children”. That we are often misconstrued to be equivalent to thugs, drug addicts, gang members and orphans. Usually thinking we are up to no good and take after our parents whom abandoned us. Unfortunately, some of those assumptions are true, but the majority of them are not. Alot of great people were adopted and eventually became very successful. I am one of those success stories.

I am a person that believes everything happens for a reason. Everything that happened to my life up to this point has happened for a reason. I may not always see the reasoning behind it right away or ever see it, but i do believe that God is the one person to make all these things happen. For better or worse.

What happened this past week, i would say is probably one of the most remarkable things that happened in my life. The turn of the new year reassured me that everything does happen for a reason. December 30, 2011. The night right before the ball dropped to make it officially 2012; i gathered my loses, put them in a box and threw them away. i told my ex-girlfriend who i was in love with that i pretty much wanted nothing to do with her. I visited my biological mother on her final night in her basement apartment. i said my goodbyes to alot of friends that i thought were supposed to be close to me, but i realized they were nothing but temporaries. I was taken for a fool for about 2 years. i sacrificed alot this past semester. i lost some close friends i am going to make sure i dont make the same mistakes i made in 2011 again. it was just not a good year.i did alot of things that normally people would not do.

My new years resolution was to pretty much start a new life. New friends. New everything. No drama. Nothing of the sort. I got lucky when it started. December 31, 2011. around 8 pm. New Years Eve. There she was when she walked in and the first thing she does is say hi to everyone in the house and then go right for the cooler and grab a beer. This was a girl had to get familiar with.

As the night went on, we got closer and closer and closer. Before the night was over, it seemed as if we knew each other for years. Fell asleep together, cuddled. woke up in different positions, but our hands were still held. We knew immediately that something was there and clicked. Here is why.

That girl who you can have 5 hour nonstop skype sessions that have been going on for 10 consecutive days.That girl that always says the perfect thing when your in a bad mood. That girl that no matter what is going on, always finds time in the day to text you. That girl that knows exactly what to say to you, to make you laugh when you need it most. That girl that can keep you occupied at work to make it go by faster. That girl that will come to your office at 7 pm and pick you up even if it means dragging her friends along for the ride. That girl that you have litterally everything in common with down to the T. That girl that pretty much makes you feel like there is a matchmaking God. That girl that you can make funny faces with and laugh about it for hours. that girl that you can blow up the wall on facebook and annoy her with twitter posts, and doesnt get mad, only looks forward to it and secretly wants more. that girl that makes me feel as if i do not need to act like someone im not when im around her. that girl that gives amazing massages. that girl that knows to touch that one spot on your body that makes you quiver. that girl that can grab your hand and hold while in the car makes you want that car ride to never end. that girl where you can have drinking sessions via skype. that girl that you can take into account everything she says and follow it to the t. that girl who you can cuddle with in the most uncomfortable position where you move for a good solid 20 minutes and she does not complain once, she patiently waits until you are done, smiles and kisses you, like its perfectly normal. that girl that got the automatic approval from the grandmother via skype for 3 seconds. that girl that the same grandmother called a model. that same girl that i look forward to the next time i see her where i can just lay down in her arms and nothing else would matter. that girl who happens to be italian as well. that girl who has the same wedding ideas as me. that girl who wants to wear converse chuck taylors at our wedding. that girl who would allow me to have a bouncy castle, ball pit and mechanical bull at the reception. That girl who knows exactly what perfume to wear to make you want to strip her right there and then and make amazing love to her body. that girl who is legit interested in my childhood and journey through foster care. that girl who almost shed a tear after hearing my story. that girl who gives amazing kisses. that girl that gives little tiny speeches of motivation. that girl who puts so much trust into you. that girl who is a giants fan. that girl who is perfectly fine with letting me enjoy the bromance i have with 3 of my bros. that girl who does not jealous. that girl who i truly trust to never question her or where she goes. that girl that has made every moment in my life since i met her, PERFECT. that girl that has made me just perfectly happy with what i have now and want nothing more. that girl who i will probably never fight with. that girl who will probably be as hurt as much as me if and when we do have that fight where we argue about whos fault it was and who should apologize first. that girl who drives a jeep just like me. that girl who makes you want to melt inside when she looks at you. that girl who you can random screenshots with and stare at them for hours. that girl who you can sit down and watch hockey, basketball, football, and cartoons all in the same night and be perfectly okay with it as long as she is next to you spending the time together. that girl who i can not find a single flaw. that girl whos personality matches the 5 year old child in me. that girl who can go drink for drink with me and keep up. that girl who was worried about my physical being the first night i met her. that girl who always refers to me as “the boy” “boyfriend” whenever she talks to friends and family. that girl who can create really silly nicknames for each other. that girl who uses the most amazing words when talking about me to her friends. that girl that is completely honest with you no matter what you ask her. that girl that does not think any differently of you or judges you from your past, and any regrets you have growing up. that girl that understands EVERYTHING you explain to her. that girl who you can hold a conversation with for hours on end about absolutely nothing, but words are always flowing out. that girl who i can obnoxiously scream obscenities and made up words at the top of my lungs over the phone and skype and wont get judged, but would just ask you to do it again so she can laugh with you. that girl that will not mind paying for your dinner because you are currently financially hurting. that girl who does not mind to drive you at 330 am and leave her friends at her house to make sure you get home okay after a night of drinking. that girl who actually looks forward to seeing you and tells you about it often. that girl that has a countdown till the next time she sees you. that girl who you just want to hug and never let go when she says “your my boyfriend, and i am the luckiest girl in the world” that girl that reassures you that she may possibly be the best girlfriend ever, when she answers the phone with “hey baby” or calls you and says “HI HI BABE” that girl that changed the background of her phone to the picture of you and her cuddling. that girl that does not make you feel so pathetic when you screw something up as insignifcant as a text message. that girl who you dont mind for her to treat you any way that she deems acceptable. that girl who always keeps her promises to you. ALWAYS. that girl who is into the same music. that girl who loves your tattoos and wants one herself. that girl who wants to get matching tattoos. that girl who you can blast 90s boy bands with for hours on end and never think about the consequences of our actions when we brag about it in public. that girl who is the first girl who i am not afraid to show public displays of affection with. that girl who is perfectly acceptable to date after only knowing her for 8 days. that girl who always makes me smile no matter how hard i try not to, but fail miserably. that girl that you just want to brag about to your friends all day. that girl who does not get mad when i blow up her phone with text messages. that girl who does not get mad when i call her nonstop on 5 minutes intervals. that girl who is the first girl that you absolutely felt perfectly fine discussing everything with. That girl who has friends just as insane as mine. that girl who has friends that i got along well with right away. That girl who gets along so well with my friends. that girl is my girlfriend. This mysterious girl is known as Jen Raab.My new girlfriend. There really is not much to describe about her other than the fact that when i met her, my resolution for 2012 already started. I could not be any happier than i am now. and i like her dearly. I can continue this paragraph for hours, but these are just some of the reasons why 2012 has already made up for 2011.

i can go on for hours, but pretty much, 2012 will be one of the  best years of my life. there is something very strong here that is going on between us. I love it. I will not change it for anything in the world. I will not change it in any way shape or form. And i will die fighting for what i have right now. This is meant to happen. I believe everything happens for a reason. I am so happy and there is nothing more that i can ask for.

They say the turn of a New Year is the start of something new. The year 2011 was nothing but stress and grief for me. I spent numerous nights out of my house due to arguments with my mother. The entire month of November, i was a nomad spending each night with someone else in a different bed. I did not even spend Thanksgiving home with my family, but with my brother Spencer Schwacke in Staten Island. I have lost some really close friends due to arguments, and school wise, it has not been the best 2 semesters for me as well. i had 2 horrible breakups with 2 people that i truly cared for and loved. I was taken for a fool the first time, and let my emotions get the best of me. i allowed myself to be the other guy. I became heart broken. The second girl, i still remain really close friends with, as well as fell in love with, but it is agreed that we are better off as friends. The friends i associated myself with are slowly moving away from me, and i am okay with that. I made a promise to myself to make the most of 2012. So far God heard my wish.

Everything that could have went wrong, went wrong. 2011 was not my year. The way to get over this is to think of it from an analogy that is so true. You need a Ronald Reagan (2012) to clean up the mess of a Jimmy Carter (2011). So far, this is true and has been living up to its meaning.

Right after i pretty much ended things for good with my last ex, On December 30, 2011. I met someone else the very next day. December 31, 2011. At a party that i was not expecting to go to until very last minute. It is scary how God can play us like that. Timing has been everything. I went there to do only 2 things. 1.) To consume as much alcohol my body can handle. 2.) celebrate the new year with some of my closest friends.

All of the above happened. i drank an unsafe amount of alcohol, and spent it with friends, but there was this one girl there that i must say got my attention right away. Jen Raab. I was not looking for anything serious, i just needed a simple beer pong partner as we played with blacklight paint. I grabbed her, and immediately i was attracted to her. She has the same personality as me, and just gave off that vibe of “I do not give a fuck”. To me, i was hooked. The one thing that really got my attention was the fact that she kissed me first. She made the move toward me, and it was history from there. To the point of us pretty much having sex on our poor friends dining room floor in the open as people were literally stepping over us and acting like this normally happens. The ball drops, and i had my New Years Kiss. I got to cuddle with her for the night, right after i devoured and entire tray of wings. I woke up and she was there, in my arms, right where she fell asleep. 1 week later, as pathetic as it sounds, we are now dating and i sense so much chemistry. In the one week that i know her, i got a girlfriend, when it takes close to 4-6 months of me knowing the girl to make it this far. We have so much in common. When i say in common, i don’t mean hobbies. i mean quirks. We both need to section off our food on our plates, we both have family members with the same last name and we both go about situations the same way. I have had a smile from ear to ear since 12:01 Am January 1, 2012 to this date. If people call me crazy for jumping into something this soon, i will say 1 thing to them. “Fuck yourself”. We have made each other smile, and we have had nothing but support from our friends. Mostly, her friends, and couple of mine. I will not have anything come between any relationship i have with anyone every again.  Which leads me to my next point.

The reason i now realize why 2011 sucked so much was because of who i surrounded myself with. i was around the same people every day. The same drama. The same people who i have history with, and by association, it carries from place to place. The second the ball dropped, i barely spoke to any of my friends from C.W. Post, because i realized it was around that crowd that this tension occured, as well as my homelife. When the ball dropped and the clock struck 12, i was surrounded by a whole new group of friends and my life has been nothing but happiness since then. Why? Because i do not hold grudges. i take the hit, cut my loses, and move on. that is what an adult does. they do not dwell on the past, they look to the future. The future right now shows nothign but big bright lights and a giant green light to make a run to the extraction point of 2011. Which brings me to my next point.

If you had a bad year, let it go. Start a new leaf, and make the most of what you have. No one cares about the terrible things that happened to you. i realized that last night when me and Jen became official. She has about 20 likes on the changed relationship status, and i have 2. 1 of those likes is from a friend of mine who lives n North Dakota. the other is from one of her friends. Becca. See where i am getting at. New Year, New Friends. Best decision i made. Fuck the past. Move forward an love life, and take the cards that you are dealt and make the most of it.

Here is to you 2012.